Fog Horns

Gliding through
a field of ice,
hands too frozen
to climb,
a beautiful mess
of a shipwreck,
diving through
confusion 
to the parts
that still
make sense,
all the pieces 
spell out your name,
but what I wouldn't 
give to see your face

The reflection
in the water
enough to pull
me under,
wound around you
tighter than
a spring,
the only life line
keeping me
from floating
out to sea

It gets harder
to remember
what I've
already memorized,
gave them a smile,
but saved you
my eyes,
digging through
the debris
to find what's
left of me
because I get 
lost in your
look, now you're 
all I can see

Too deeply involved
to ever get out,
but the ocean
deadens sound

If I go down,
then we go down
together, because
I remember 
what you said
when the horns
were blowing,
push through 
the storm,
until it gets 
better, and then
keep going.

Grief

Saying goodbye
has only broken
my heart about
a dozen times
so I started
saying goodnight

Let's do it again
turned into asking
for one more time,
begging for another
ride

He was teaching 
me how to fly,
I was learning
how to cry

I remember
waking up
and
taking off,
wondering if
I could have
ever held him
enough. 

Neon Lights

This is how 
an angel cries,
walking home
under neon lights,
on the corner,
a man screams
into his phone,
whatever it takes,
just bring her
home

Frost on 
all the windows,
shops closing up
for the night,
still a long way 
to go,
but she's not
going home
tonight

This is how
an angel cries,
walking home
under neon lights,
on the corner,
a girl in 
all the wrong clothes
screams into her phone,
please pick me up
and take me 
home

And it's 
a travelled road
if you've been here
before,
all the freedom
in the world
with no place
to go,
running until you
run out of 
road.

This is…

His face
between my hands,
asking for one more
dance,
hoping this night
won't end

Wandering through
a reverie,
absorbed by
the revelry,
lost in his eyes
again,
the room turns
as we spin

The park
at dusk,
his arm,
my touch,
the song
in my soul,
the way breathing
comes so natural

in solitude 
and peace,
my heart,
his sleeve,
dazed by 
the memories

Lamps lit
by one spark,
at home
before dark,
long drives
and small talk,
daylight fading
into night stars

Dandelion wishes
around bonfires,
kissing in the kitchen
and long-held desires,
the truth comes out
between my lips,
I am in love,
that's what
this is... 

Life Cycle

In the Woods

I took him down,
a sinking ship,
a crashing plane;
thought I had everything,
a Phoenix rising from 
the ashes in the flames

Made my bed,
I'll sleep in it,
ran with the wolves,
still feeding them,
Little Red Riding Hood
walking through the
woods alone,
curiosity takes you places
you should never go,
out here on my own

Can't make all I done wrong
make the punishment fit the crime,
thought I did my time,
used to wake up screaming
his name in the middle
of the night

Every day the same,
every day I die,
would have come back 
swinging every time,
but I'm losing the fight

Can't get over what
you don't understand,
can't miss what you 
never had; out in the open,
nowhere to go,
in plain sight,
no place to call home.

Split

He made a heart 
that could break,
gave me something to protect
that wasn't mine to take;
it's a cruel joke
living in a man's world,
two minds living
in a body I call
my own

Tell me what to do
with this body of mine,
punishment for the way
I write,
two sides living
a split life
no where to turn;
it's raining fire and brimstone
on the city tonight,
a comedy threatening
to collapse into tragedy
at any time.

Love Letters

The breeze still stings
where you kissed my cheek,
the ground is still warm
where you buried me

Our talks grew shorter
the more we had to say,
promises for tomorrow
fading into yesterdays

I wrote a dozen suicide notes
masquerading as love letters,
stripped down to the bones
pretending I was getting better

Until I slipped through the cracks,
past the point of no return,
without a way back;
nothing remains to burn

Committed my heart to paper,
scrawls becoming scars across the page,
the sun never coming out until later,
promises for a new day

Lonely hearts in jars,
dreams dashed out on the floor,
too far from home to know
who I am anymore

The language of love letters
tied to a death sentence,
words strung together
with casual indifference

a world too blind to see
what holds me together
ties you to me,
the way you would 
watch me fall asleep
until the only word 
I can cry is: safety,
please

The only place where
I lay my head at night
with secrets too deep to confide,
the world too big,
the lights too bright
for someone like me to hide

Limping home after kicking too hard,
broken bones after falling too far,
pure black fading into the perfect hue,
every inch of my body colored
in the deepest shade of indigo blue

Love letters embedded in fine ink
on my skin of lessons learned
and the life I've lived, 
a whole galaxy 
within a single 
fingerprint.

Best Friend

Standing right behind me,
whispering in my ear,
long black hair falling over her shoulder,
telling me everything I wanted to hear;
she was everything I wanted to be,
she was perfect,
all bones, no claws,
the sweetest voice I ever heard,
walked next to me down the halls,
met me in the bathroom after lunch,
always kept her word;
all the other girls only knew
that when they asked, I already
had something to do

She knew everything I was hiding,
red lines between a gap in my thighs,
her dark eyes looked a lot like mine,
took everything I threw at her without complaint,
sneaking in my room every night
when the numbers kept me awake,
we counted together, up and down both sides,
her hands, my ribs, her fingers, my wrist

Counted through every set, every rep
all night in my bed until the only
color left we could see was red;
gone in the morning,
but she always stayed,
she stays,she's
my best friend.